the DECLAMATION piece

    
this was written by my very beloved friend Melody.... Melody helped me a lot especially when i was very downhearted and inferior (my "reign of terror" moments in highskul)...and through this piece a lot of realizations took place in me... (this piece was written within the "Reign of Terror " in my highschool life)....

 
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Why are you looking at me? You…you…all of you! Why are you staring at me? Is it because I am a prisoner? Is it because I look terribly ill? Yes, you are just one of them… you look at me as a bad person guilty of crime! Everyone thinks I’m a crazy person…aheheheheheh….nobody loves me. Nobody cares for me because I’m an addict , addict, addict!!  My family disowned me. I hate them! They never gave me attention because they only think of themselves and they forgot me, their only daughter..

Do you want to know what brought me here? Ahehehee….I almost killed my mother. I don’t care about my mother coz she doesn’t care of me too! Well, that’s what I thought at first.

I am the only daughter of a very rich family. My dad is an executive officer abroad and my mom is the president of our company. Everything I want, I have it. I’m every girl’s dream. I’ve experienced all the luxuries in life. Every material things was given to me by my parents even if I don’t ask for it. Seems like  a beautiful and good life….But it isn’t. Yes, they gave me all those things but they forgot that I’m their only daughter. They forgot to give me attention, care and love… you know what, I grew up calling my nanny “Mama Anna!”. On my way to school, I am usually with my driver. I can never remember a time where in I am with my parents. I am usually envious of kids whose parents visit them. I lack attention that is why I would do anything just to please them.

I’ve been the first honor of our batch. I also received numerous medals, trophies, and certificates from all the contests I’ve joined. But, nobody was there with me in receiving those awards. Are you asking where my parents are? Duh!! You can’t trust them to go on those occasions. Why? Because they’d prefer to sign documents, attend appointments and go out of town rather than being with me!!!

“I’m home! Hey mama anna, where’s mom? Isn’t she home yet? I’ll be glad to tell her that I topped the examination..” “just go to your mom’s room, okay monica. I think she’s in her room” “Thanks mama sita! Mwahh!”

hey mom. I really had a great day! I topped our examinations again! I know dad would be very proud of me. Maybe I can write a letter to dad about my achievements, right mom?” “stop that foolishness monica? You’re just wasting your father’s time and yours! Just go back to your room and study! Don’t worry, I will bring you to the mall tomorrow. Ill buy you a new Dulce and Gabana… Go back to your room now! I am very busy and you are disturbing me!”

Did you see that? Is that a sincere and proud mother? She’s just showing her being a “work aficionado”

“Monica, someone wants to talk to you in the phone…” “Okay mama anna…Hello”

“Hey, how’s my most stunning girl?” “Pipe down Jay-r! I’m not in the mood of getting along with your foolish talks!” “Calm down okay…I’m just joking! So, what happened?”

“It’s mom again! I thought she’ll be pleased that I got high grades but she just told me to buy that Dulce and Gabana again!” “Don’t say that Monica. I know your mom is proud of you. You just can’t feel it coz you are closing the possibility.” It’s a good thing that I got Jay-r. He is my companion in my every burden.

But, I am still finding ways on how to get my mom’s attention to me. If I can’t get her love through all those achievements I’ve made, then it’s time to do something else. That’s how I met Jessica. “Hey Monica! Hey girl, wazzup? I’ve heard that you’re so depressed and It’s because of your Mom?” “What? How did you know.”  “Gosh, Monica! Everyone in the campus is digging on it! Don’t worry I can keep a secret. I can even give you the best solution on your problem.” “Really? What is it?” “ah,ah,ah…I’m not gonna tell you yet unless you will go with me tomorrow at the disco bar 9:00 pm. Is that a deal?” “hmmm…okay, deal. Wait for me there” “Bye monica! See you there! I hope you’ll like it…”

I went to the disco bar to change my mother’s attitude. But I never expected that I chose the worst decision. “ oh monica! You are just in time! Come here and try this.” “What’s that Jessica?” “This is something that can bring you to the sky as easy as 1,2,3…just light it up and all your problems are blown away in the air…” “No! I’m not taking that! I am going home right now!” “Stop pretending Monica. I know you badly need this one. Don’t worry, there’s no sugar…aehhehehe”

So I I tried it. After that, I kept on asking for more, more, more! Now I am very addicted to drugs. I made me crazy but it felt so good. I experienced belongingness that I never felt from my own family. But later on, it started destroying my whole self! I am failing in my subjects and I neglected all my responsibilities.

“Monica! Why are you doing this? Why are you abusing drugs? You are our only daughter and we love you so much! I thought that you understood our situation but then you’re now failing all the subjects and you are cutting classes just to take drugs with Jessica! I’ve been asking myself ….where did I go wrong?” I lost my temper and I was filled with anger. So, I got my swiss knife. This is the time to open up. “Good question mom. Do you want to know the answer of it? By giving me all the luxuries in life, you didn’t go wrong MOM. But you and dad never offered your love to me. I am your daughter  but I never felt it! You are always out of the house and you prefer to make your office in to your home and I am left only with mama anna and all those stuffs that I don’t need!” I felt the tears running roll down my eyes. I felt like I’m out of my mind. I am loosing control. My hands were trembling and my body was getting numb….

I woke up and I found out that I was in the hospital…”Mama anna, what happened?” “Monica when I arrived, I saw your mom lying down bathing with her own blood and also you lying unconscious and holding a knife . she’s still on the emergency room right now fighting  or her life…” “I… I did that? No, I didn’t, no…mama anna, you know I didn’t do it! Oh no, the cops are coming…tell them that I didn’t do it…please, I’ve got to hide…” I was so afraid and I don’t know what to do so I ran away! The cops are coming and they’re going to get me…”Jay-r, help me, please tell them that I didn’t do it, I didn’t kill my mom…” what are you saying? Try to calm down, Monica…this is the moment that I really hate…it has been done, monica and I can’t blame you for that and I also thought that you understood your situation…” “Yes, I did and I think I was just really desperate to find love…but I felt pity on me and I feel guilty of being too selfish of my own feelings and I didn’t even dare to ask and talk to my parents first…I am selfish coz I kept on thinking about my own sake than that of my parents…I was never grateful for the things that I have…I was lucky after all for my parents worked with all their life and love for my own sake and gave me all these things out of love…I am not an intelligent and wise person for I never opened my mind to love and appreciate the things that I have more than what I expected…” “I know, monica..but it’s all over now and I’m glad that you learned your lesson…sometimes in life, people get too dependent on those material things that they have rather than the will to make the choices that’s good for us…it’s never late to change…and you have the choice to act on that.

 

Hhahahaha…fools…the cops didn’t get me though…coz they knew that I was out of my mind…hahahahahha…but I want to go away from this cage and go home to my mom…I want to tell her that I am really sorry…mom!!hahahahaha